Though humans cannot speak cat, they vocalise repeatedly. Most of their vocalisations are meaningless and can be completely ignored. In urban areas, fun can be got from hunting human objects such as mink stoles or old underpants. For some reason this kind of prey is usually greeted with human laughter. To get a male human off an armchair, jump on the back of it, hold down his head with a firm paw and lick his bald patch. Purring right into the ear is one of the kindest ways to tell a human being that it is time to get out of bed.

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