Princess Elise d'Orleans, niece to King Louis XIII, is a spoiled brat and is generally considered an egotistical royal pain in the, well, derriere! Overbearing, overweight, and overconfident, she simply needs a good spanking. Pierre Tonnelier, the village journeyman cooper, starts on a strange adventure when he finds an extraordinary necklace in the woods outside Chateau de Saint-Germain en Laye, a magnificent castle outside Paris. He sells the unusual piece of jewelry to the petulant princess to pay his father's debts. But the necklace is charmed, and it throws him and Elise through a portal between Earth and Amorgos, a place filled by frightful creatures that are quite beyond their imagination. Elise hates Amorgos, hates the races living there, and hates the fact that everyone believes she is their Redeemer! She is supposedly "the One" who will free them from enslavement of their common enemy. But most of all, Elise hates the fact that the only other human in Amorgos is a stinky...

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