On a nice little De Havilland twin prop, Toronto to Baltimore: "Okay, so we have fifteen of you today. Anyone not flown before? Good. No virgins. Then I'll do the short version. Exits over the wings, life jackets beneath the seats, oxygen masks drop out of the ceiling, put them on in the usual fashion. Seats up. Belts on. Read the cards. Enjoy your flight. Questions?" You're traveling too much when you see the same flight attendant twice in the same day. Tower: "Cleared to land; winds 270 at 21, gusting 29, heavy rain, severe turbulence below 300, RVR (runway visual range) 2,000 feet." Pilot: "Roger. Cleared to land; and Oh, let us know if it gets any worse." Tower: "Worse?" Jet Lag: "Wallet in refrigerator. Where's the milk?" "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight." "We're ready to begin boarding Flight 1234 with service...

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