Would Mam forgive me if only I could straighten myself out, as she calls it, and be how she wants me to be? If I could just get some more gen on my sister and my mother from Dad, I could concentrate and do a bit better at school. Dad could tell me a load more if he'd take me seriously. I mean, why was Dinah adopted, but not me? Why have Mam and Dad stayed together? What has she got over him? There might be some way to draw him out without actually asking him. But even then, what would we all do about Dinah? Carry on pretending we never did anything horrible to her - none of us? Actually, I'd bet a thousand pounds that there's a whole lot more to this story than he's telling me! I do want him to feel ashamed, but wanting that is hard: he's my Dad. And okay, I know it's a nasty, sneaky thing to do, but how else am I going to get at the facts? Dad says I take myself far too seriously: he calls me introspective. Well, I'm sorry, Dad, but I know myself better than that.

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