What if every supernatural or conspiracy story you ever heard happened to be true? In 1952 when Ron Durston is called up into the army for National Service, all he wants is to be posted somewhere sunny like Tahiti or Weymouth where he can fraternise with the native girls and bring home a medal or two to impress his mates. Instead he finds himself standing guard at an army camp in Ass-End, Yorkshire which doesn't appear on any maps, where the winter is cold, the native girl is invisible and the local wildlife includes a large furry Canadian with big teeth and a doll fixation.

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